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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23798062">Stay Alive For Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonBinaryBitch/pseuds/NonBinaryBitch'>NonBinaryBitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dysfunctional Family, Established Relationship, Gender Dysphoria, Keith's dad is a bastard in this, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, M/M, Moving In Together, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Keith (Voltron), Transphobia, klance, this is a vent fic, y'all this is fucking heavy. don't read it if any of those things are a trigger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:20:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23798062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonBinaryBitch/pseuds/NonBinaryBitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a vent fic, and it's heavy. It has a happy ending, but if you're sensitive about suicidal thoughts or anything like that, please don't read. Basically Keith's dad takes him in for a 'bring your kid to work day' and introduces him as his daughter to everyone. It;s the final straw for Keith and Lance.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stay Alive For Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Last warning y'all. After this it's on you.<br/>TW: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts, transphobia, gender dysphoria</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Keith slammed the door as he walked into the house, locking it behind him. He knew his dad had a key, but he wanted to make everything as difficult as possible for him. </p>
<p>He ran up the stairs without taking his shoes off, knowing that would piss his dad off even more. </p>
<p>He bypassed his room and went into the bathroom, since the lock on his bedroom door didn't work. He knew that if he went in there, his dad would come in to continue their argument or make some half-assed apology. He wasn't sure which one was worse. </p>
<p>Keith closed the bathroom door and leaned his head against it, finally allowing the tears to fall. </p>
<p>His mind flashes back to earlier that day. He had been so excited, thought his dad was finally starting to accept him for who he was.</p>
<p>There was nothing further from the truth.</p>
<p>He had met his dad at his work, having opted to drive up on his bike, which ended up paying off. His dad had said he was bringing him in for a 'bring your kid  to work day'.</p>
<p>Keith was content. Until his dad introduced him for the first time. </p>
<p>Even now, the words 'my daughter' taunted him, refusing to leave him alone. </p>
<p>The first time his dad said it, he had froze. His breath caught in his throat, and he knew he should take off his binder with the alarming amount of air reaching him, but he refused to give his dad the satisfaction. </p>
<p>Keith ripped his backpack off his shoulders as he thought back to when he'd pulled his dad aside.</p>
<p>
  <em>"What are you playing at? Why would you bring me here if you're just going to do this?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Keith's dad smiled. "What do you mean? I'm just introducing everyone to my, while sometimes troublesome, beautiful daughter!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Keith's anger seethed. "I'm not your daughter! I'm your son and you need to accept that!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You're just greedy! What you got wasn't good enough for you, huh? You're just a woman who couldn't accept her place in the world. You're worthless!"</em>
</p>
<p>The pure anger his dad's voice had held made Keith visibly flinch away from him, and he had run out of the room away from him. Keith had jumped on his bike and sped the entire way home, barely managing to keep his tears at bay as he drove home.</p>
<p>Keith tore his way around the bathroom, looking for the razors. He growled in frustration, remembering Lance had hid them the last time he was here. He was about to call Lance and ask where they were, but he finally found them. They were tucked behind the fragrant perfumes and body washes his dad insisted on giving him. </p>
<p>He grabbed them quickly and sat down on the toilet, ripping his jacket off. </p>
<p>He only hesitated a moment when he saw his old scars before dragging the blade across. </p>
<p>The pain brought him relief, an outlet for the pain inside him. </p>
<p>He wasn't worthless. Or greedy. He knew that. He <em>did.</em></p>
<p>But still, the thoughts swam around in his head. He couldn't think of <em>one thing </em>he liked about himself. He <em>was </em>greedy. He didn't deserve the love people gave him. He was just a waste of space, greedily sucking up resources and never giving anything back. He deserved the pain. It was the <em>only </em>thing he deserved.</p>
<p>He dropped the razor into the sink, watching all the blood run down his forearms. He loved the color red.</p>
<p>He stood up from the toilet and yanked off his shirt, his binder following. He stared into the mirror, and brought a hand up to his chest.</p>
<p>Before he could stop himself, he scratched his nails down. He gasped at the pain flaring, but couldn't stop himself. He kept raking his nails over his chest, wanting it <em>gone.</em></p>
<p>Keith collapsed onto the floor, his legs no longer supporting him. He landed, surrounded by his own blood. </p>
<p>The puddles surrounding him snapped him out of his trance, the reality of what he'd done hitting him full force. His <em>relapse </em>hitting him full force. </p>
<p>He choked on a sob as he scrambled for his bag, bringing his phone out. He called Lance with trembling fingers, praying he picked up.</p>
<p>Relief washed over him like a cold wave when Lance's voice sounded on the other end. "Hey baby! How was your day with your dad?"</p>
<p>Keith's body shook with the force of the sob that wracked through him. "<em>Lance. </em>Lance, I-I did something bad. I'm so-so sorry."</p>
<p>Keith's voice was raw from crying, and he knew Lance could tell. "Keith? Keith are you okay? Where are you?"</p>
<p>"I'm at h-home. I didn't mean to La-ance. I didn't want to." Keith was trembling like a leaf, and he could hear Lance slamming his car door on the other end.</p>
<p>"I'm coming, baby. I know you didn't mean to. I'll get you safe, okay?" Lance's voice sounded strained, like he was holding back tears. Keith wouldn't be surprised.</p>
<p>Keith sniffed and tried to calm himself. "Okay. Don't hang up."</p>
<p>"I won't. I promise."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Keith heard the door creak open, and his body slumped in relief. </p>
<p>"I need you to unlock the door, babe." Lance's voice was now coming through the door and Keith crawled over to open it. He still didn't trust his legs. </p>
<p>The door opened as soon as it was unlocked, revealing Lance standing there. Lance's eyes widened as they swept over the bathroom, and guilt crept through Keith. He was covered in his own blood, his clothes thrown any which way, and tear tracks stained his face. </p>
<p>His voice cracked as he whined out, "Lance."</p>
<p>Lance swept down and pulled Keith into his arms, hugging him close. Keith whined when Lance pulled away, but he placed a kiss on his temple.</p>
<p>"Can you stand?" Lance closed the bathroom door and locked it again, just in case Keith's dad came home. It was unlikely, but he didn't want to risk it. </p>
<p>Keith stood up on shaky legs, and Keith lifted him gently onto the counter. </p>
<p>Lance picked up Keith shirt and wrapped it around one of his wrists, wrapping his binder around the other. When Keith opened his mouth, about to protest, Lance kissed him on the cheek. "You can't put that back on right now. I've gotta clean your chest first. I'll wash this one for you once you're safe, okay?"</p>
<p>Keith nodded and let Lance wrap it the rest of the way. Lance then took off his jacket and zipped it over Keith's frame.</p>
<p>Lance quickly gathered any of Keith's things from the bathroom. His toothbrush, hair ties, face wash. Lance swept them all into Keith's backpack, then reached out his hand for Keith. Keith slipped his hand into Lance's and followed him to his bedroom, where Lance gathered more of his things, stuffing them in Keith's duffel bags he had under his bed. Keith recognized how all his favorite clothes made it in, everything off his shelves, all his pictures, his stuffed animals, his favorite blanket. Lance slung the bags over his shoulders and made sure everything was secured before turning to Keith.</p>
<p>"C'mon. We're getting you out of here." </p>
<p>Keith blinked slowly, then a small smile broke out on his face in spite of himself. Keith slid off the bed and followed Lance out the door, grabbing some other things he was scared his dad might throw away when he realized Keith was gone. </p>
<p>Lance tossed the bags in the backseat and climbed into his car, pressing a kiss to Keith's forehead when he got in the car. "Let's go home. Okay, baby?"</p>
<p>Keith nodded and settled back in his seat and pulled the sleeves of Lance's jacket over his fingers. As he came out of the haze that he'd been in, Keith began to grow uncomfortable. His wrists were aching and his chest was on fire. Lance noticed this and looked over at him. "We'll be home soon, okay?"</p>
<p>Keith nodded as he whimpered, and Lance made a soothing noise. </p>
<p>Lance parked his car in his driveway, grabbing the bags and leading Keith inside. Lance dropped everything in his bedroom before backtracking and moving into the bathroom, where Keith had sat on the edge of the tub.</p>
<p>"Can you unwrap the wrist with your binder, sweetheart? I'm gonna clean you up."</p>
<p>Keith took off the jacket and unwrapped the one wrist, hissing his way through it. The blood that had dried caught on the fabric and peeled off of his skin, making him whimper. </p>
<p>Lance hurried over and helped Keith get it the rest of the way off, making sure not to hurt Keith. </p>
<p>"Now, this is gonna hurt like a bitch, but you can't stay like that. Ready?" Lance looked at Keith, a cotton ball dipped in disinfectant hovering over the wrist Lance was holding gently.</p>
<p>Keith nodded and braced himself, hissing slightly at the first touch. Lance worked quickly and methodically over Keith's wrists, knowing how to clean it so Keith was in pain for the least amount of time. He'd done it enough times before, but he had hoped those days were over for them.</p>
<p>Lance covered the wounds with an ointment and wrapped them in gauze, then gently washed the scratches on Keith's chest. They weren't too bad, and Lance guessed they'd heal up pretty well without any help. </p>
<p>Lance then took Keith's wrists again, pressing a kiss to each one. Keith felt his eyes well up with tears again, cradling Lance's face in his palms.</p>
<p>Lance looked up at Keith and tilted his head, almost like a confused puppy. "What's wrong now, baby?"</p>
<p>"Nothing, nothing, I just," Keith cut himself off and smiled down at Lance. "Fuck, Lance. I love you so much."</p>
<p>Lance smiled and moved in to press a kiss to his lips, pulling back and leading Keith to his bedroom. Lance dropped in front of one duffel bag, and searched through, then picked out Keith's favorite sweatpants. </p>
<p>"You can't put your binder on now. You could put the sports bra you keep here on, but you'll heal faster if you just put on a baggy sweatshirt." Lance turned around to look at Keith.</p>
<p>Keith hummed. "It's fine, I trust you. Can I just have one of your big hoodies?"</p>
<p>Lance smiled and nodded, going to his closet and grabbing the biggest one he had, that he had also worn recently. He knew it would smell like him, which seemed to comfort Keith.</p>
<p>Lance turned around to see that Keith had already pulled on the sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Lance helped Keith pull the hoodie over his head, being careful of his arms.</p>
<p>Keith grabs Lance's hand and leads him to the living room, where Keith starts to settle in. Lance kisses him on the top of his head and dashes back to his room quickly, grabbing the duffel bag with Keith's 'comfort items', as he called them.</p>
<p>He came back and started draping things around Keith, who had settled into the corner of the couch, which was slightly bigger than the rest of it. Big enough for two people to cuddle.</p>
<p>Keith smiled fondly as Lance unloaded his blankets and Lance's own, placing his stuffed animals around him. Lance quickly made some hot chocolate, bringing the mugs back and placing them on the side-table next to the couch. </p>
<p>Lance grabbed the remote and climbed under the blankets to settle behind Keith, cradling him in his arms. Keith sank into the embrace, wrapping Lance's arms more securely around his waist.</p>
<p>Lance started massaging the skin on Keith's stomach. "So, do you want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>Keith drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He'd been preparing for this since he got there.</p>
<p>Keith trusted Lance, and knew he only had good intentions.</p>
<p>So he told him. He told him how his father made him feel, what his real intentions were that day, how he was greedy.</p>
<p>Lance listened and comforted Keith as best he could, nuzzling his nose into the back of Keith's neck.</p>
<p>Lance made sure Keith had finished before he started talking. "You're not worthless, or greedy, or a waste of space. I know that just saying that won't automatically fix you, but it's true. You're so perfect and I could never imagine a world without you in it. So if all else fails, stay alive for me, okay?"</p>
<p>Keith nodded and turned, burying his face in Lance's neck.</p>
<p>"Also, I'm getting you out of that shithole. You should move in with me." Lance played with the strings of Keith's-well, his-hoodie.</p>
<p>Keith looked up at Lance. "Really? You wouldn't mind?"</p>
<p>Lance smiled fondly down at Keith, then cupped his cheek. "Of course I wouldn't mind. You're my boyfriend, and I love you, and that household is abusive. We can get the rest of your things tomorrow when your dad goes to work."</p>
<p>Keith smiled up at Lance and pulled him down, placing a lingering kiss on his lips. "Thank you, Lance. For everything."</p>
<p>Lance smiled and leaned in for another kiss. "Anytime, Keith. Anytime."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys. I know this is wildly different from what I usually write, but I needed to vent. My dad was being especially horrible to me yesterday, and I just needed to do something or I was gonna explode. I'm feeling better now though, don't worry. Hope you liked it, don't forget to leave any questions or requests in the comments. Bye peoples!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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